What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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