The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
