So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You can't special order awesome
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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