Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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