we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Never joke about your clitoris.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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