you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Alive.
So much puke
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
