Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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