my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
