you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
