he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
