I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
