Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
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just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
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She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?