Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
