wrigley field is MILF paradise
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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