When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
