Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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