They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
