There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
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She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
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I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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