I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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