one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
