I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
