well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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