ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
