4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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