Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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