I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Farmville is her only friend.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
