More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
