I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
