Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
