my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
God, I missed his penis.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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