I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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