She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
