It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
