He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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