Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
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Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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