Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
