haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize