thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
