So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
