you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
