Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
are you so shy because you have an std?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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