There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
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took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated