Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.