you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
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WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
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Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack