You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
