your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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