my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
