One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
