You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
