I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
