I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
