i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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