I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
we're so committed to being not committed
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
