Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
