Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dear god my vagina.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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