I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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