If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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