my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
