just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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