What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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